


Boner Delux for Delux Boners

by ObakeAri



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: And Magnus helps!, M/M, Pets, also how they go from having two cats to an entire army of cats, and one very very extra cat dad, angry kitties, ghost kitties, in which Kravitz and Taako adopt cats, just two cat dads who love their cats and their Angus, senior cats, senior cats that come back as ghost kitties and demand to go home
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-14
Updated: 2018-09-14
Packaged: 2019-07-12 02:49:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15986021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ObakeAri/pseuds/ObakeAri
Summary: Taako and Kravitz have just moved in together and they decide its time to adopt a cat. They find the perfect kitten and it's on their way out when Taako stumbles across the meanest, angriest, stray cat he had ever seen and it was love at first sight.So naturally he had to name the cat Boner Delux.





	Boner Delux for Delux Boners

**Author's Note:**

> Oh boy my first TAZ fic I hope it's good! 
> 
> This one is a commission for the lovely galliaandco on tumblr! They requested two (2) TAZ fics so here's the first one! Took a little longer than I anticipated (like two weeks longer...oops) because I'm new to writing these characters and I think I went through about five different iterations of Kravitz and cats before I found this one and was happy with his and Taako's characterization. 
> 
> Honestly, the more I have attempted to write Kravitz the more I realize that he works best if I just write Taako the most Taako to ever Taako and write Kravitz as hilariously anxious and tired as Griffin McElroy trying to DM a campain. Which is fitting. 
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoy!

Taako and Kravitz weren’t the best planners. They knew that, everyone around them knew that. Lup wouldn’t let them forget that when they moved in together, and she  _ really _ gave Kravitz a talking to when Taako proclaimed that he wanted a cat. 

But it’s not that Kravitz could deny him; having a house, an Angus, and a cat was the number one sign of a stable and lasting relationship...right?

Whatever, his favorite thing behind music, Taako, and Taako’s ability to cook while doing makeup were cats. So it seemed like a natural leap for them to find themselves at the animal shelter together sitting on the floor cooing at the sweet little kitten that had curled up and fallen asleep in Kravitz’s lap and then stayed asleep in his coat the entire time it took Taako to fill out the adoption papers. 

“What do we want to name her?” Kravitz asked, his boyfriend humming in thought.

“What aboooooout,” Taako droned, his voice lilting in a way that told Kravitz he was definitely going to come up with something stupid: “Fluffington.”

Stupid, but Kravitz couldn’t help but find it fitting as he ran his hand through her thick white fur. Smiling, he said, “That works.”

“Awesome, because I’m stretching my creative limits here,” Taako teased and after lots of petting and waiting for the paperwork to go through, the new cat parents were on their way home. 

Well...they would have been on their way home had Taako not caught sight of a cranky pile of something that was scraggly and meowing in one of the kennels and paused, backpedaling completely to peer inside. 

“Oh hellooooo,” Taako droned leaning forward ever so slightly to observe the cat, completely ignoring the sign above him that stated “please give me space, I may bite!” in bold letters. 

“Uh, Taako--” Kravitz started but he was too slow to do more than watch in horror as Taako reached a hand forward to introduce himself only to yelp slightly as the cat hissed and took a swipe at him. “Taako!”

“Oh, he’s an angry boy isn’t he,” Taako had that smile on his face. That smile that told Kravitz to get his boyfriend and leave immediately. The smile that told Kravitz he should have deposited Fluffington into his boyfriend’s arms to remind him that they  _ literally just adopted _ and probably didn’t want their new daughter to get attacked by a second angrier cat, but Taako was just so damn insistent on getting him to sniff his hand that Kravitz was too worried about what would happen if Fluffington was close by too. 

Observing quietly and preparing for the worst, Kravitz examined the cat’s tan colored, crooked tail whipping about violently, his darker ears back and his lips curled in distrust and he could only hold his breath and watch until one of the adoption counselors came up to them and warned, “Oh, sorry, boys, did he get you? This old man has been a stray his entire life and is a little cranky that we brought him in.”

“His tail looks broken,” Taako observed, “Is he okay?”

“Oh yes, that’s likely been that way for a long time and doesn’t seem to bother him. He’s just very distrusting of people. Like I said, a cranky old man.”

Taako did that humming noise again. The same humming noise he made when Fluffington mewled and patted his nose with her paw. Kravitz heaved a sigh, “Taako, I know what you’re thinking and I’m not sure this is the best idea--”

“We’ll take him!” Taako interrupted, beaming proudly as his eyes practically glittered in triumph. “We have room for one more, don’t we, Babe?”

“Taako no--” Kravitz groaned as the human woman grimaced, “That’s very kind of you, Taako, but he’s not quite ready to be adopted yet, there are a lot of things that the vet has to check and he hasn’t done well in any foster home yet--”

“Well, that’s because he hasn’t been in the Casa de Taako, my dude, just hand him over to us and we’ll foster the daylights outta him!” 

“So two things to consider,” Kravitz said flatly, “First: we have a kitten. A very fluffy and adorable and vulnerable  _ kitten _ . Second, we have Angus. A very good boy that is already kind of weary of cats that is being a good sport for letting us bring home even one.”

“Oh please, this guy is gonna love Angus,” Taako dismissed, “And he’s not gonna hurt Fluffington, she’s an angel! Look!”

And before Kravtiz could even scream in horror, Taako plucked the sleeping kitten out from his arms and held her in front of the old cat’s kennel for them to bump noses. The old man bared his teeth and let out a growl and poofed out his fur, but he otherwise didn’t take a swipe at her. Fluffington simply yawned lazily and let out a tiny little, “mew”, and as if he were confused and didn’t know how to respond, the old cat curled up into a ball and just stared angrily at the fluff ball in front of him. As if he had won a bet, Taako glanced up at Kravitz and sneered, “Told you so!” 

Kravitz could only glare at Taako as he continued insisting with the adoption counselor, the manager, and the vet that he could just take the old cat home too and foster him, eventually cast some type of charming effect on them, and marched home triumphantly with a second cat that was now howling in protest in the cat carrier. 

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Kravitz asked as they returned home, Fluffington squirming out of his arms to explore before he could get her to the room they intended to acclimate her in. As if she had been there before, she began rubbing up against literally anything and everything before trying and failing to climb up onto the couch were Angus was now doing his homework.

“Please, have I ever had bad ideas?” Taako teased and before Kravitz could answer Angus hummed out a slightly uncertain hum that could echo the reaper’s very thoughts. Taako’s nose upturned at that in response and he snapped, “Oh come on! I saved the world, didn’t I?”

“I can’t really argue with that, Sir,” Angus shrugged, seemingly withholding back more of his opinion, if for no other reason that he was now suddenly distracted by the tiny white kitten pawing at the couch and whining up at him. “Oh, hello. Do you need help?”

“Angus, meet Fluffington,” Kravtiz introduced, feeling his heart warming at the sight of Angus lifting her up and placing her on his lap to pet her. The boy giggled at the sounds of her purrs. “Taako named her.”

“She’s your sister!” Taako guffawed, trying to sneak their other new addition into the acclimation room before Angus took notice.

“She’s really sweet,” Angus grinned before very pointedly looking up at Taako and stating, “Um...but I thought you were only going to get one…?”

“We were!” Taako lied as Kravitz shook his head, “He caved.”

“O-oh…” Angus grunted, but he put on a brave face and, with Fluffington in his arms, rose to his feet to greet Taako and the cat in the carrier. Looking inside at the mound of growing hisses, he said, “So...this one…?”

“Ango, my boy, I want you to meet Boner Delux,” Taako gestured to the carrier, “He’s a bit of a grumpy old man so he’s gonna need some more time to adjust.”

“He does not look very happy,” Angus stated simply.

“He’s not,” Kravitz stated.

“No offense, Taako, but...is it really a good idea to have a hostile cat with a kitten like this?” Angus asked, but for whatever reason, the very question seemed like blasphemy to Taako.

“Oh please! You two just don’t wanna give him a chance!” Taako huffed, “If that’s gonna be your attitude, then you two can just complain while I’ll just chill with the cats tonight!”

With a huff, he slammed the door, leaving Kravitz and Angus and Fluffington behind and it was only a matter of minutes before Taako was yelping and arguing with Boner Delux, his sounds echoed by the cats hisses and growls. 

“This isn’t gonna end well, is it,” Angus stated and Kravitz could only shake his head. 

 

* * *

 

Needless to say, Kravitz and Angus were left to their own devices for dinner that evening, accompanied by the occasional sounds of Taako’s shouting followed by Boner’s screeching. Fluffington ate obliviously in content, occasionally mewling and pawing at Kravitz’s pant leg to indicate that she wanted more. Otherwise, they were completely silent until Lup just about kicked down the front door, greeting, “Sup, nerds, how’s parenthood?”

“It’s...going,” Kravitz sighed. Lup gave a curious smirk as she leaned on the table, and before she could ask where her brother was, Angus sighed. 

“Taako found a second cat,” he explained, “And he’s been working with it all day.”

In the time it took Angus to speak a sentence, Lup had located Fluffington and scooped her up so she was just a purring fluffball. Humming and scratching the kitten’s chin, Lup asked, “And neglect this sweet girl? What the hell is wrong with him?”

As if on cue, Boner Delux howled in outrage as Taako attempted to reason with him.

“He found the oldest, angriest stray and decided that we should adopt him too,” Kravitz explained, “Well...foster. He still needs some medical treatment.” As he spoke, he watched as Lup’s eyes softened ever so slightly and hug Fluffington a little tighter, and Kravitz couldn’t help but hold back at a groan at himself. 

_ Oh. _

Lup blinked a couple times, her smile softening and she asked, “Mind if I go meet the other one? Maybe bring Fluffington to meet him too?”

“Go right ahead,” Kravitz grinned. He should have known better to have realized this sooner but, of  _ course _ Taako was going to look into the eyes of a lonely, jaded cat and see himself reflected through. 

 

* * *

It took almost two weeks but one evening, Kravitz gently knocked on the door of Boner Delux’s room to check on his boys and found not just Taako laying on the floor sound asleep, but he found Boner Delux curled up on his lap as well. Not purring, but still contently kneading his paws on the elf’s legs and staring tentatively up at Kravitz. Curled up against Boner Delux and purring wildly was none other than Fluffington herself with Angus’s head on Taako’s lap on the other side of her. 

Kravitz couldn’t help but smile as he approached cautiously. Boner Delux gave a bit of a nervous growl so the reaper took his time, kneeling down slowly and outstretching his hand even slower so the elder cat had time to gauge him and sniff him and when he didn’t bite, Kravitz carefully pet the top of his head in between his ears. He half expected the cat to lash out at him like he had in the pat, but instead the cat leaned into Kravitz’s cool touch and closed his eyes. Kravitz stilled when he heard the low rumbles and he couldn’t help but smile. 

That was the first time he heard Boner Delux purr. 

 

* * *

 

Between Angus and the cats, Taako had become a madman in the best of ways. Only in the moments when Angus’s polite demeanor began to gleam into mild irritation at the way Taako had quickly become some type of helicopter parent did Kravitz feel bad for the kid. And even then it was more the sort of pity that he knew deep down when he looked back on his life, Angus would be grateful to every single embarrassing moment the self-proclaimed idiot wizard created for him. It was the type where, while he did feel bad enough to tell Taako to tone it down, if Angus said anything that resembled complaining to Kravitz he could only laugh. 

The cats, on the other hand, well...they were becoming an entire ordeal entirely.

Not because they weren’t getting along or acclimating, oh no it was just the opposite. Fluffington flourished in her new home and decided that every surface was a climbing surface. Boner Delux blossomed from an angry, distrustful stray to a still just as scraggly, grouchy but very loving grandpa to Fluffington. If the human, elf, or reaper weren’t carrying her around, Boner Delux would just pick her up by the scruff and trot around the house with her. If she was playful, he’d just go belly-up and and let her climb on and bite at him until he got bored. He grew from snarling and swiping and biting at anyone that came near his reach to not just seeking out attention but demanding it in outright. 

And that was how Kravitz found himself one night, Angus having retired to his room, the first season of Queer Eye on TV, Taako half asleep in one arm, and Fluffington curled up in the other. It was a hot summer eve and Kravitz could only thank the gods that it was warm enough for both his kitten and his boyfriend to snuggle so close to his body. He almost could have drifted asleep like that, in fact he thought Taako was too until the elf lifted his head and grunted, “Sup, Old Man? Finally done hiding for the day?”

Kravitz glanced up in the direction Taako was looking and found Boner Delux stretching his paws outward with a yawn. As if he was capable of understanding common language he indignantly shouted, “MOOOOW.”

“Well, alright, come up here and join us then, Boner.”

“MOOOOOOW.”

“Well, I’m all cozied up over here, you gotta come to us, I know you’re capable.”

“MOOOOOOOOOOOOOW.”

Before Taako could further argue with him, the old cat pounced on his feet, causing Taako to yelp and recoil, scolding the cat for doing so. Out of spite, Boner Delux kept pawing at and clawing on Taako’s leg until he relented and picked him up.

“You’re a piece of work, my dude,” Taako rolled his eyes as Boner Delux finally settled down on his lap.

“MOWWWWW.”

“I don’t appreciate that kind of language, young man,” Taako retorted. 

Boner Delux glared up at Taako and let out almost a growl? Kravitz couldn’t be sure at this point, but honestly the whole thing was too funny to watch so he simply laughed.

“What?”

“You two,” Kravitz snorted, “he takes after his father.”

That earned a firm swat on the shoulder from Taako coupled with his outraged, “I’m not  _ that _ demanding! 

 

* * *

 

“Mr. Kravitz, sir, I think Taako’s gone off the deep end,” was the first thing Angus said as Kravitz stepped through the door one evening after a particularly long assignment. Sure enough, the first he saw of his partner was none other than Taako  _ and _ Magnus on the floor assembling something he had yet to make heads or tails of but he was definitely, vibrantly aware of the Fantasy Babies-R-Us packaging on the ground.

“Babe…?” Kravitz dared to ask. Oh  _ gods _ , did his anxiety over Angus going off to wizarding school send Taako over the edge? Did he adopt a rebound baby while Kravitz was gone?! He had just gotten used to balancing two cats and a preteen he couldn’t handle a baby! “What’s...this?”

“Oh, I wanted to get a stroller for the cats but the crash safety ratings on pet strollers are absolute garbage,” Taako stated nonchalantly. “So I got the one that Garfield recommended.”

“The Deal’s Warlock?” Kravitz guffawed.

“Yeah!”

“I thought he worked at that Fantasy Costco from the Beureau…?” Kravitz arched an eyebrow.

“He picked up a part-time job at Fantasy Babies-R-Us,” Magnus offered, his carpentry skills becoming quickly challenged by the abstract diagrams in the instruction manual, “Said he just needed a temp job to pay for some interdimensional travel this holiday season.”

“That’s um…” Kravitz paused, debating whether or not it was worth noting the absurd amount of charges that alone could press over the warlock’s head, decided it wasn’t worth it, and said, “So why the baby stroller?”

“I told you, Krav, the pet strollers don’t have high crash safety ratings--”

“Why do we want strollers?!” Kravitz was starting to stress. 

“So we can take the cats on walks with us!” Taako cheered, looking rather pleased with himself. 

“Fluffington could be leash trained though!” Magnus added, looking equally pleased. 

“But since the vet is worried about Boner Delux’s arthritis we could set him up in a rad stroller so he could join in on all the fun!”

Kravitz blinked as he processed the chaos that was both in front of him and quaking secretly within the mind of his beloved wizard. Angus was right, he had gone off the deep end this time, and that was saying something. The only thing that distracted him from it all was the feeling of Fluffington rubbing up against his leg and pawing for attention. Lifting her into his arms, a secondary thought came to mind: “So where is Boner Delux?”

“Oh! Check it out!” Taako spun around excitedly to reveal that what Kravitz had thought was just a stylish wrap to accentuate his waist was actually serving as a cat-carrier on his back. Not only that, but Boner Delux was so majestically swaddled in the damn wrap that he just glared out at the world, judging all. “He can go anywhere with us now! And we don’t have to worry about his legs!”

“So why do we need the stroller!?”

“Do you realize how much of a pain in the ass it is to swaddle him like that?! And get him to hold still!?” Taako protested.

“It took about two hours between the two of us to get him in the wrap,” Magnus added. 

“Yeah because you--” Kravitz started but Magnus cut him off again.

“And approximately a hundred cat scratches.”

Kravitz stared indignantly at both men.

“I can’t feel my left thumb since he bit it, actually,” Magnus finished. 

“But he likes it now!” Taako defened, “I mean just look at him!” 

Kravitz heaved a sigh at that and, because it was starting to dawn on him that there was no changing Taako’s mind on literally anything if it meant giving the people (and cats) in his life the world. Besides, Boner Delux looked like he was living the high life with his pudgy, scraggly head poking out from the blankets. 

 

* * *

 

As it turned out, the stroller was something both cats took immediately to, as morning and evening walks through the neighborhood became the family’s favorite past time. They could pull Angus out from his studies to see the sunshine and fresh air. They could explore their new neighborhood around them. Fluffington took to leash training faster than even Magnus had expected and she could walk around and explore with one of the boys holding her leash, or if she grew tired and wanted to cuddle, Taako could scoop her up and put her back in the stroller where Boner Delux sat proudly perched, surveying his kingdom before him. 

Taako even purchased kitty sunglasses for the two, and though Fluffington didn’t like having things around her head and would paw them off, they were perfect for Boner Delux when the vet told the couple about the cat’s developing cataracts. 

Kravitz glanced down as Fluffington bouncing around Boner Delux in the stroller, pawing and nipping at his fur for attention. Indignantly, Boner Delux pushed Fluffington away from him slightly, head held proudly and stubbornly high. 

 

* * *

 

Kravitz woke up with a start one evening when Boner Delux hopped onto his back, pawing at him gently seeking attention. Taako was gone that weekend, having been on a boys trip that turned into an accidental run-in while Kravitz was on work chasing a bounty, the wizard decided to finish up the trip with Magnus, Merle, and Davenport. Boner Delux had been getting much more cuddling as of late, and when Kravitz returned home that day, instead of being greeted by Fluffington and shouted at by Boner, the reaper found Boner huddled up close to Fluffington who was grooming him, both kittens purring loudly. 

“Hey, bud,” Kravitz hummed gently, petting Boner’s coarse fur. Boner’s gaze flitted carefully behind him. “You miss Daddy too?”

“Moooow,” Boner Delux cried out gently, curling up against Kravitz’s chest. 

“I know,” Kravitz scratched the back of his ears. Hearing the noise, Fluffington nosed her way in on the cuddle pile as well, laying on Boner Delux’s back to groom him. “He’ll be home soon.”

Boner Delux tucked his head down, leaning into Fluffington’s touch and let out the tiniest, sweetest, “mrow” that Kravitz had ever heard.

“You know, to say I was prepared for both you and Fluffington to come home with us would be a lie,” Kravitz mused, using both hands to scratch each cat. “And I was a little nervous. But you know...I think Taako was right in taking you home. He saw a bit of himself in you that day, you know?”

If Boner Delux even heard or understood what he had to say, Kravitz didn’t really know, but that was okay, both cats were purring and happy and not turned off by his cool skin so he couldn’t have cared less. 

“I’m glad you came home, Boner,” Kravitz moved his hand underneath Boner Delux’s chin and he closed his eyes contently; such an action was completely unheard of in the old cat’s eyes until a few short weeks ago, “And you know, I think we needed to meet you more than we realized. Hopefully we’ve been able to do good for you too.”

Boner Delux and Fluffington both let out the smallest meows before settling into slumber. Kravitz smiled to himself, wondering how his life with Taako and their growing fur family could get any more perfect. 

 

* * *

 

When Boner Delux first came home, Kravitz had to admit that he was more than a little weary of the cat. He was angry, distrustful, aloof, unwanting of any love or help in life. But what he didn’t know in the beginning, and came to later both understand and love so wholeheartedly about the wizard, was that when Taako met the elder cat, he saw himself reflected back. And not only did he see himself, but he saw himself and wanted to make sure that Boner Delux could lead out the remainder of his life feeling nothing like he once felt - like Taako had once felt - and everything like the beloved and loving cat he was and deserved to be treated as. In fact, Taako probably went overboard in giving both cats the royal treatment, but what initially had stressed Kravitz out came to be something he adored about his boyfriend. For a full year and a half, they got to watch as Fluffington grew from a cuddly, curious little kitten to a rambunctious, active, and healthy cat that could only be contained by her lovingly cranky grandpa, Boner Delux. And in that time, Boner Delux had a home, he was loved, he learned to love and let others care for him when he needed help so he could lead out the remainder of his life with the second kittenhood that he deserved. 

What was unfortunate though, was that while the couple knew from the beginning that Boner Delux’s health was on the decline the moment they brought him home, it still felt like their time with their furry son had been cut so painfully short. 

Of course, if Taako was involved, he wasn’t about to let his cat go out without style, so not only did Boner Delux get the Last Day Party of a lifetime, but he got the best Last Day Party that any cat, dog, human, elf, or anyone and anything could have had across every plane Taako had ever been to. The wizard was adamantly against bringing the cat to the vet and when the vet said it would be an extra fee to come to their house, he simply spat, “Please I’m rich!”

They knew it was time, Boner Delux had been slowing considerably and went from begrudgingly allowing Kravitz and Taako to carry him around to only exclusively wanting to be held. They could tell he was sick, they could tell he wasn’t feeling well, they knew it was the end and that this would be way more painless and less stressful if they said goodbye to him in this way. At home, surrounded by loved ones, Fluffington grooming him and cuddling him until he closed his eyes. 

The little kittens howls through the night were almost as agonizing as Taako’s muffled sobs when he thought Kravitz had fallen asleep. The only thing worse than that first week was the second and third weeks that followed. Fluffington had stopped eating; anytime Kravitz had put her food bowl on the ground, she’d hop up on the counter and paw relentlessly on Boner Delux’s old foodbowl stored away in the cabinet. She’d sit on either Taako’s or Angus’s or Kravitz’s lap, meowing relentlessly in search of her old grandpa. By the fourth week of coming home to Taako’s glassy-eyed stare and Fluffington’s gaunt, sad frame, he caved. 

“Taako?”

“Hm?” Taako grunted. 

“Do you want to get another cat?”

He knew what the answer would be, he just didn’t expect the way Taako’s entire form crumpled inward as he broke down in sobs nodding his head. The reaper’s heart broke when he took Taako into his arms and felt the elf lean into him, clinging to him as Fluffington seemed to echo his cries. 

Needless to say, when Taako found yet another senior stray, a two year old cat that was just as feral, and a cat about Fluffington’s age that looked sad and scared and had been an owner-surrender, Kravitz didn’t question any of his choices or charm spells that led to them introducing Fluffington to her new siblings. Mango clung tightly to her older sister and seemed like she needed the comforting grooms about as badly as Fluffington needed to give them. Totinos seemed to hate anything and everything about living with people and had a serious issue with door dashing; given that he was young and spry he certainly gave the couple more work than Boner Delux ever had, but thankfully the old Mayor Dewey had about the same attitude and behaviors that Boner Delux before him had and they knew what to expect. 

The pep in Taako’s step was not just a relief to Kravitz, but it was enough to make him cry. Seeing his boyfriend and his kitten bounce back made him happier than anything. But now...now he had time and energy to remember how much he missed his cranky old cat too. 

 

* * *

 

Mayor Dewey had at upgraded from growling and swiping at everything to just hiding under the furniture most days, but he at least preferred to be in the same room as everyone. Mango really got anxious whenever she was set down, so the swaddling technique that Taako had learned with Boner Delux worked wonders. Totinos trusted everyone about as far as he could throw them without opposable thumbs but he had at least stopped door dashing and spent his days sitting on the kitchen island glaring at everyone as his walls began to break down. Plus, he  _ loved _ playtime whenever Kravitz brought a string out and he had received two complete leg rubs from the cat before he left for work that morning. 

Oddly enough, his first assignment of the day was within the astral plane as something had apparently gotten out of the sea of souls around the time Kravitz clocked out the day before and Lup and Barry had wound up chasing the soul to no avail for the majority of their shift. 

Kravitz found himself searching high and low for most of the morning as well, so with a sigh of frustration and figuring the soul was at least  _ contained _ in the astral plane, he moved on to his second and third assignment of the day before returning back to try and bring in this last bounty before clocking out. 

Nearing defeat, Kravitz wasn’t sure when or where he dropped his accent, but within minutes of doing so, he sensed something approaching. The reaper paused, readying his scythe as he turned around, trying to nail down where in the hell this soul was, but before he could snark anything out loud, he felt a set of claws digging into his pant leg. 

“Moooooow!”

“What--” Kravitz started, glancing down to face the culprit. There, sitting simply and indignantly, was the skeleton of a cat. Putting his scythe away, Kravitz knelt down and reached his hand out to the soul, “Hey now, you aren’t supposed to be out here, what are you doing?”

“MOOOOOOW,” the cat practically shouted at him, rubbing its face up against Kravitz’s hand in a demanding fashion. And then it rubbed up his arm until it was standing on its hind legs pawing at Kravitz’s chest and purring and waiting expectantly for Kravitz to pick it up. 

“Oh my--Boner!?” 

“Mow.”

“Oh my--” Kravitz lifted the soul of his cat in to his arms, not even realizing there were tears leaking out of his eyes, “Boner! You need to go back to sleep! You can’t do this.”

As if to protest, Boner rubbed his skull up against Kravitz’s cheek and meowed louder in his ear. 

“You do realize the Raven Queen won’t go for this.”

“MOW.”

“Of course I’m going to try! I’m just telling you to be prepared!”

“Moooow.”

“Okay, okay, let’s go talk to her and see if we can get you home.”

 

* * *

 

Kravitz had to admit that he wasn’t sure if the Raven Queen went with his request because she was growing a soft spot for him and Taako or because she knew that Boner was a stubborn enough cat to sneak out of the astral plane anyway. 

So when he came home early, the skeletal cat tucked under his coat, he took a deep breath and wondered what exactly Taako’s reaction would be. “Hey Baabe!” he called out, “Could you come here for a sec?”

“I’ve got a pile of cats on me, could you just come here instead?”

Angus’s voice, though small, teasingly retorted, “He has one cat on him and she’s getting ready to hop off.”

“Ango! Whose side are you on!?”

Laughing to himself, Kravitz decided to just follow the sound of their voices as he found the pair and four other cats scattered about in Angus’s room. Suddenly, several thoughts started swimming through the reaper’s head: would Taako be okay with this? It wasn’t like Boner was exactly the same as when they saw him a month ago. Would Fluffington recognize him? Would the other three be okay with a fifth cat? Would Boner be offended that they essentially adopted rebound cats?

The wriggling in his coat prompted him to get a move on with it as he pushed his thoughts aside and said, “So uh...I had an interesting assignment today.”

“Oh?” Taako perked up slightly, fucking with Mango’s ears. “What happened?”

“I found someone,” Kravitz added. “Someone you might know.”

_ That _ perked Taako all the way up as he sat up and asked, “Who?”

As if on cue, Boner Delux poked his boney head out of Kravitz’s coat and howled, “Moooow.”

The way Taako and Angus both froze in place at the sight and sound of Boner was something Kravitz couldn’t really describe. Taako had stilled completely, his expression even and unreadable, his eyes glassy in a way that he couldn’t tell if the reaction was about to be good or bad, so Kravitz found himself anxiously rambling, “Uh...I know he’s not the same as when we last saw him...but Boner really wanted to come home so...I guess he missed us as much as we’ve missed him?”

That got the eyes leaking, and before he could even properly handle the skellingcat over, Taako was plucking him out of Kravitz’s coat crying, “Boner Delux your name is an actual pun now!!!”

Boner’s mewls were softer and sweeter than his usual demanding howls and if Kravitz hadn’t known better, he would have thought that the cat was crying just as hard as the wizard was. Wiping his own eyes, Kravitz bent down and gave Fluffington an ear scratch.

The moment Taako was finally willing to release Boner Delux, Fluffington immediately recognized him and meowed relentlessly, the two cats rubbing up against each other and Kravitz felt Angus wrapping his arms around his waist and the two embraced, watching the reunion unfold. 

It wasn’t until much much later in the evening as the emotional intensity and the business of introducing Boner Delux to three new cats died down that Taako was finally able to wipe his eyes and ask, “How were you even able to swing this?”

“The Raven Queen just...I mean it’s not ideal but she said she could make an exception for us...for him,” Kravitz shrugged. “Obviously we can’t exactly let the news get out that we have an undead cat under our roof but...there are ways to hide him from the rest of the public.”

“Like mysterious ghost powers?” Taako raised a teasing eyebrow.

“Like mysterious ghost powers,” Kravitz laughed and the two men clinked their wine glasses together. “I love you, Taako.”

“I love you too, Kravitz,” Taako smiled, gazing fondly at their pile of cats huddled together, some more willingly than others. “And thank you.”

“No,” Kravitz shook his head, “Thank you for convincing me to let you bring Boner home in the first place.”

“Excuse me, but his name is Boner Delux because he is cause for Delux Boners, he deserves to have you use his full name,” Taako snorted. “Especially now that he’s actually made of bones!”

“He was...always made of bones, Taako,” Kravitz said flatly.

“Well now he’s  _ only _ bones! Let him have this!” 

Kravitz didn’t have much of a response to his boyfriend’s pandering, instead he drew in for a soft, simple kiss that stole both of their breaths away.

**Author's Note:**

> If I write more TAZ you bet your asses that the growing cat army and Angus's relationship with Taako is going to be the focal point of future fics.
> 
> Boner's shouting habits were heavily based off of my cat, who is in fact named after Kravitz. :3


End file.
